quirks

I recognize my quirks. I said to a friend once, why am I like this or why do I think that...she said 'we're all f***ed up'. We use that as an excuse now for everything. I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday after work. I go every month or two, looking at all the quilt magazines. There are so many to look at. Most of them I don't find anything I like, so I flip thru them pretty quick looking at pics to see if there are a few projects I like, then I buy it. I don't want to look too long, cuz that will ruin the surprise of buying it, then there won't be anything to read or look at when I get home. The much anticipated Quilt Sampler in on the news stands now. It highlights 10 quilt shops all over, even Canada. I am a freak about this magazine. It comes out twice a year. It is so anticipated, that I have to wait for the right time to look at it. And then I do so in a ritualist fashion. I go through, looking at the shops, all their pictures, scrutinizing them thinking I would do MY shop this way or that way, or that looks terrible, too cluttered, too dark. It is also an inner struggle of jealousy when I look at it, wishing I had a shop. And I beat myself up for feeling that way. I told you I recognize my quirks, you have quirks too...maybe you haven't admitted them yet. We all have them cuz we're all f'd up.