40

My sister in law called last night to say she is having a surprise 40th birthday party for my brother. 40. Wow. It's coming in a few for me as well. I don't feel as old as I am. Other than some gray hairs, I don't look it, and I sure don't act it. Of course, the older I get, the louder the clock ticks. I suppose I should go out, but why? Who wants to shout at each other in some bar. There is no one my age at my church it seems. I certainly don't meet anyone interesting at work. I had emailed someone about dinner and didn't get any response. I guess that ship has sailed.
I had breakfast with my uncle and grandmother this morning. He asked about my friend in Texas, if he ever thought of being a father. He thinks I should do artificial insemination and use the friend's 'ingredients', not to mention my friend has money and can support the baby.
I really want to start a business as soon as possible. I know it would be very very tight financially in the first year or two, so how could a child even be a consideration. On the other hand, I don't have time. I can't put off having a child for a few years. It's very possible neither could happen.